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by jam21
Summary: With her hands in his hair and his hands on her hips and the whole school watching, Edward Cullen finally, after years and years of being ignorant, knew he was in love with Bella Swan. A Christmas fic about how Edward and Bella came to be. AH


She was four and he was five when they first met. Her Father had told her that they were going to eat at a friend's house and he dressed her up in the cutest, puffiest, red and green ensemble he that he could find. He topped it off with a little bow in her hair and whispered the faintest, "it'll be fun," into her ear before picking her up and dragging her to the car. She was nervous because she was shy and she didn't take to meeting new people easily. When her Father's car parked in an unfamiliar driveway she started to panic.

"Daddy, I don't wanna go," she said quietly. She tried to hide her nervous tears as she kept still in her seat. Her Father quickly opened up her door and began to unbuckle her. With the gentlest hands he lifted her up and began to carry her to the door. Her face was pushed up against his and she could feel the tickle of his mustache on her cheek. She began to whine, hoping her Father would bring her home.

Her Father sighed and looked at his beautiful daughter in his hands. He pushed a stray piece of brown hair behind her ear and fixed her bow. Staring into her big brown eyes he let her know without words that it would be ok. Wanting to reassure his girl that she shouldn't have to worry, he placed her tiny body on the ground and crouched to reach her height. "It's okay, honey. These are my friends and there's no reason for you to be shy, you'll get along with everyone," he patted her head and took her tiny hand in his as they walked the rest of the way to the door. Before he could even knock it flew open, the wind from the tug blowing her Father's mustache and her hair all around, so much so that her bow almost fell out. Quickly she lifted her hand up to catch the bow and readjusted it before looking up.

"Charlie!" a female's voice screamed, "I'm so happy you came!" Her thin body looked like it was about to burst at the seams and her brown hair sat wildly on her head, she looked down at his side and smiled, "And you must be Bella. I hear so much about you. I'm Esme Cullen." Esme put her hand out to the little girl as Bella shook it as lightly as she could, "And this," Esme continued, "Is Carlisle!" Bella looked to Esme's side and stared.

Carlisle was calmer than his wife and had a softer voice. Bella was immediately taken with his relaxing atmosphere. "Hello, Cawiwsle." Bella said slowly.

Carlisle laughed at how cute the girl's pronunciation of his name was and knelt down, his blonde locks slicked back so she could see his whole face. "Hello," he responded, "It's very nice to finally meet you Bella."

Ever the host, Esme shuffled her guests inside her recently decorated house. Bella stared in awe. Not only was the house huge, but also it was decorated with the prettiest most amazing lights and decorations she had ever seen. Reds and greens flew through the rooms, red bows were placed on every wall, and the tree was decorated with so much tinsel it was almost all silver. There was even a statue of Santa in the corner. "Santa!" Bella said excitingly.

Esme and Carlisle nodded at her and pointed to the statue, "Why, Santa himself gave me this last year to remind my own kids that he's always watching. To always be on their best behavior," Carlisle said softly to Bella. She looked up in wonder at the statue. It was taller than her and fatter by far. She involuntarily smiled. Santa wouldn't have to worry about anything; she had been a very good girl this year. Carlisle continued as she stared, "Would you like to meet my kids, Bella? Some are around your age." Bella didn't really want to meet anyone else, people scared her and she liked being alone, but she nodded silently anyway as Carlisle ushered all three of them over.

All the kids came rounding the corner oldest to youngest, obviously unable to contain their excitement about the new guest. The Cullen's were always an outgoing group of children; they loved to meet new people even if they also liked their fair share of alone time. The oldest, Emmet was seven and extremely big for his age. Tall and buff, he could probably take on any 5th grader he wanted to. Jasper was six, and looked the most like Carlisle and acted the most like him as well. And the youngest, he was five, and although he was outgoing, he seemed to be nervous about meeting the new guest. He listened as his Father introduced them to Chief Swan and his daughter Bella but he seemed to lose track of the conversation as his Father finished with, "… and this is Edward."

Edward smiled faintly as he realized that he was being introduced to Bella and he blushed under her shy stare. "Hi," he squeaked. Next to him, giggling like a maniac, Emmet kept bumping his elbow softly into Edward's arm. Edward looked to his older brother, confused at his bumping and saw Emmett wiggle his eyebrows. Then he was even more confused. He looked down at this brown trousers and white collared shirt and tried not to look silly in front of the new girl.

Esme was just ecstatic seeing the way Edward reacted to Bella. Little kids and crushes were the cutest thing in the world so of course she had to encourage it. "Edward," she said, "why don't you take Bella to the TV room while the rest of us help settle Chief Swan in?" She looked at him expectantly and Edward began to panic.

Really, panic. His hands started shaking and his eyes were darting back and forth but he was able to make out an "Ok Mommy," before boldly taking Bella's hand to show her to the room. Esme looked at her two other sons and directed, "okay boys, go set the table!" This was followed with a bunch of "ahh mans" and "whys" and "what about Edward" but Esme just ignored them while she looked at Chief Swan who was shaking his head.

"Esme, I'm not sure it's such a good idea, Bella is afraid of people. She's very shy, and well, well," Charlie was looking for the words to describe what he was feeling but all he could keep thinking was that his baby girl was only four and still getting attention from boys. Years from now he'd have to be fighting them off with a shotgun, "well, I just don't know Edward that well you know?" He finished. He was fully aware of how ridiculous that sounded but boys will be boys and they only want one thing! Even young ones. Thoroughly convincing himself of this, he stood his ground and took a glance at Esme.

Esme lost herself to a fit of laughter and Carlisle pretended to cough his laugh out. "Oh Charlie," she began before laughing so hard she cried. Finally she got herself under control, "Oh Charlie, stop it with your silly ideas. Edward is a lovely kid," she said pretending to be offended. "Plus it's Christmas," she added, 'let Bella make a friend." Charlie gave in and decided that Edward Cullen couldn't be too bad; even though he was a five-year-old heartbreaker for all that Charlie cared. Letting his daughter be dragged into the TV room by Carlisle's young lady-killer, he tried to get his mind off of it while he followed the hosts into the kitchen.

Bella was sweating. She wasn't sure if it was her dress or the fact that Edward Cullen had still not let go of her hand but all she knew was the her face was on fire and she couldn't make it stop. Once they got into the TV room, Edward led her to a DVD player where all of his favorite movies were and started browsing. Bella was supposed to help but all she could concentrate on now was the way her skin felt like fire. She started to panic and thought she should call her Dad when Edward suddenly whipped around, flashed a half smile with his tiny lips and said, "You're all red, Bella." Bella's face erupted into more flames and she felt tears peaking out of her eyes. "Oh no, Bella, don't cry that's silly," Now Edward started to turn red, "I just thought it looked pretty on you." After a moment of silence he continued, "Hey do you wanna watch The Muppet Christmas Carol?"

A smile broke across her face, "Yeah! I wuv that movie!" And for the first time since Bella could actually remember she began to enjoy making a new friend in Edward. They watched the movie and sang with the carols together and somehow ended up squished together on one side of the overly large couch that could surely fit at least seven people.

Bella's head was leaning on Edward's shoulder and her bow had almost completely fallen out of her hair. Softly, Edward lifted the bow up and righted it. She stared at him confused and he turned crimson. "Sowwy, It was about to fall out," he whispered. His color settled and he felt brave enough to look at his new friend again without feeling dumb. "Bella," he said, turning to face her completely, sitting on his knees, "you're.." he paused and looked up through his eyelashes, "you're vewy pretty and I'm happy you came tonight," and as fast as he could he kissed her on the cheek and turned around before Bella even knew what happened. She was about to answer him and kiss his cheek too but was interrupted by the signal that dinner was ready. The two walked to the table holding hands.

It was that day that Bella fell in love with Edward Cullen.

* * *

Bella was 17 and Edward was 18 when things became a little tense between them. After they first met when they were kids they began to know each other very well. But for one reason or another, they never dated, and when High School started, they didn't run in the same social groups. Edward became very popular with the ladies, his killer looks as a kid turning into killer looks as a young adult. His piercing green eyes could get any girl to do what he asked, and his messy hair was brushed in all different directions on his head, making girls want to run their fingers through it. His height made him seem even older than he was and at 6'1" he towered over almost everyone in his class.

Bella also grew into her own, developing nice curves where they mattered, and long brown hair that reminded everyone of a calm day on the beach, but unlike Edward she never became outgoing, and she stayed the same shy girl she once was. She kept mostly to herself but had a few friends; Alice for one, who dated and was still dating Jasper even though he was off at college, and Angela who was the sweetest girl you'd ever meet. Bella was not a hermit and she had her fair share of boyfriends, just as Edward had his fair share of girls, but today, the boys who admired her were really getting on Edward's nerves and he wasn't really sure why. That was a lie and he knew it. He knew why it bothered him, but it had never bothered him that much before. Edward liked to think that he was Bella's only friend of the opposite sex, so whenever she began dating it made him want to kill the jerk that thought he could claim her. Edward had seen her first and to Edward that was as good as anything. It's not as if Edward was jealous, _no_, he would never admit to that, even if he was. It's just that he wanted to be that only person in Bella's life, despite the fact that Bella could not be the only girl in his life.

At that particular moment in time, Edward was without a companion. He had had a long relationship with a girl named Tanya starting Freshman year and ending Junior year because in Edward's world, she was a bitch who would fuck anything with two legs and a penis, and in Tanya's world because Edward was a jerk who was secretly obsessed with the Swan girl. Edward wasn't too heartbroken when it ended, Tanya was fun to be with but she was more trouble than she was worth and he liked being single anyway and playing the field. But he was aware that Bella was _not_ single and playing the field and that she was dating some jackass named Jacob who was as big as a house. He curled his lip and scowled at the thought of him and wished he could be the crap out of the guy.

"Take that scowl off of your face, Edward, it's ugly." Alice sat up daintily and stared at him, waiting for him to calm down. She followed his eye to the lunch table over and saw him glaring at what could only be described as a couple sharing a meal. That couple was Bella and Jacob. "Oh," she groaned, "I get it. Get over it hot stuff." Edward's head snapped up to Alice and his scowl landed on Alice this time. "Oh please," she laughed, "That shit doesn't scare me and you know it." Alice peaked out the window as pecks of snow gathered at the bottom of the ground. She loved Christmas and was excited because Jazz would be home soon, but stupid Edward had been killing her buzz for weeks because of his irrational dislike for Jacob.

Jacob was a good guy; he had also known the Swan's for a long time but not nearly as long as Edward (who prided himself on this fact). His height and muscle were intimidating to people but Jacob rarely used it to his advantage. He was an overall nice guy who didn't like getting into people's drama, namely Edward's. While Edward had tons of drama with girls in school, Jacob was able to stay out of all of it by choosing one girl to stick with, Bella. He was quite fond of her from the moment he met her and didn't waste his chance to ask her out once she began to see him as more than just a big oaf who joked around a lot. At the end of the summer he swept her off of her feet, literally, and politely asked if she'd be his lady. She had giggled and accepted, even though it was not with all of her heart. Bella had always been in love with Edward even though he didn't even notice. But she realized that Edward had other plans and decided that she couldn't wait forever. So she chose the nice big oaf instead of a junior year of loneliness.

Edward hated the fact that Jacob was a nice guy and it made him hate Jacob even more. Nice or not, Jacob was still with Bella and it made Edward see red, so much red.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about Alice but I suggest you change the subject before I say something about how horrible your hair looks today," Edward vented. Alice giggled again, completely unaffected by Edward's jealous streak. He ran his hand roughly through his hair and huffed, deciding to change the subject, "What are you getting Jasper for Christmas," he finally smiled. While he waited for her answer he subtly looked over her shoulder. Jacob and Bella were wrapping up and starting to leave the cafeteria. _Good Riddance,_ he thought_, If he put his arm around her one more time I would have broken it._ Alice followed the line of his eyes, looked at him blankly and then rolled her eyes.

"I'm not telling you and stop looking over there! Unless you want everyone to think something you don't want them to think." She slyly smiled and looked up through her lashes, "Why don't you want them to think that you loooooooooove Bella, because you do," she broke down laughing and tears sprung out of her eyes, "You're so obvious, Edward, I just can't even." She pulled her short hair behind her ears and smoothed out her light blue shirt. Edward was glaring at her and he was not laughing. "Fine, live in denial," she added right before turning to Jacob and Bella direction and screaming, "Yo Bella! Look up!"

Bella stopped in her tracks and almost broke her ass on the ground before Jacob caught her. "Jesus, Alice, a little warning next time!" She risked a glance at Edward, afraid she might see him glaring at her as she so often did these days. To her surprise he looked concerned at first before zeroing in on the hand on her waist and then glaring again. To get away from his malice she decided to look up at whatever Alice had stopped her for. Her eyes narrowed and then widened and then she began to panic. _Oh no,_ she thought,_ not the mistletoe._ All she could keep think was no, no, no, no, no, no, not in the cafeteria in front of everyone – she was shy enough as it is, she didn't need this. But Jacob had other plans. He began to chuckle and grabbed her hips getting ready to pound a big one on her. She was on the verge of tears when she felt him ripped away from her. At first she was relieved but then she realized that whatever was happening was causing more of a scene and she started to freak again. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her blue jeans and tried to pretend she was anywhere but in that small school cafeteria with everyone from Forks watching.

Edward was not about to let this happen, not about to let this _dog_, put his lips on her for everyone to see and most importantly, not in front of him. This was just unacceptable on so many levels that he didn't know where to begin. He shot a death state at Alice before he jumped up from his seat and stalked over to the couple. He could tell Bella was nervous and it was obvious she was uncomfortable but this big _oaf_, didn't seem to care. With his lips pressed in a thin line and his hands balled into fists at his side Edward ripped Jacob away from his girl and threw him to the wall. He looked toward where Jacob sat on the floor, gawking at him, "Stay there," he growled, "I mean it." At this point the whole cafeteria was watching and Edward almost felt bad for what he was about to do, but not really. He softly put one hand on Bella's hip, and the other lifted her chin so she would look at him, and softly, so softly, he brushed his lips against hers before silently asking for permission to enter her lips with his tongue. To his great surprise she accepted his advances and happily gave as good as she got. With her hands in his hair and his hands on her hips and the whole school watching, Edward Cullen finally, after years and years of being ignorant, knew he was in love with Bella Swan.

* * *

She was 25 and he was 26 when they had the biggest fight that ever happened between them. Edward had been working late at the hospital again while Bella was working on a short screenplay to send off to Hollywood in hopes of it being bought. They both had jobs they loved and loved each other but unfortunately for Bella, Edward didn't love her enough to marry her, or at least that's what she thought. After being together since she was 17 and he was 18, they had their fair share of fights, but had for the most part been stable and madly in love. So why wasn't it enough for him to finally propose to her? Bella had been asking herself this question for months since it seemed like everyone else she knew was either engaged or getting married. Alice was engaged to Jasper and Emmett had finally married his longtime girlfriend Rosalie. So what was so wrong with Bella? She couldn't pinpoint why she was boiling with anger, but she was. So when the door opened that night to reveal Edward in his scrubs tired from the day and exhausted from the week, her anger skyrocketed. He hadn't been spending any time with her and it was almost Christmas! Why was he always gone? Her frustration created tears in her eyes and this just made her angrier.

Edward, who was completely confused about the show that was happening in front of him, was sincerely worried. Bella had been very distant the last few weeks and he wasn't sure why. To top it all off he had seen some asshole the other day try to get her digits and it took all of his control not to punch his teeth out. "Baby, what's wrong," he asked sincerely. Alice had maybe dropped a few hints that Bella was getting wedding fever, and it didn't bother him that she wanted to get married but it bothered him that she couldn't be more patient. He wanted to marry her and was even planning on asking her soon, but he just didn't time to make what he thought should be a perfect proposal perfect because he had been working all of the time. "Bella?' He questioned.

She blew up, "What do you want? And why do you even _care_, it's not like you're ever here anymore." She yelled forcefully. "It's not like you even want me forever," she whispered after. She turned around again and got working on her screenplay for the umpteenth time wondering when the hell she was going to finish it, if ever, and Edward's appearance in the living room was really pissing her off. She put her fingers on the keys to start typing but was yanked away by Edward's strong pull on her body.

"What the hell are you even talking about?" Edward was very unhappy with the way things were progressing in this fight but he couldn't control the anger rolling off of him. What ever gave her the idea that he didn't want her? Was it when he was six and kissed her cheek or when he was eighteen and groped her in the cafeteria or when he was 21 and beat the shit out of the guy who wouldn't stop staring at her ass, or when he was 24 and had asked her to move in with him? He couldn't see her logic and her accusations were off base. He glared at her and moved close to her face, "Baby, you have some fucking explaining to do."

She was furious. One he had pulled her arm which annoyed her, two he had gotten in her face and had spat anger at her when he was the problem. "Oh shut the hell up Edward! All you ever say is how you wish you could be a bachelor again and play the field or how I'm your ball and chain, I'm you-"

He cut her off in a rush, "I'm always just joking! What is wrong with you?"

She looked up through watery eyes, her mouth closed in a thin line, "Those jokes hurt my feelings, Edward. You didn't even want me until someone else had me."

He was growing angrier and angrier by the minute, "If they hurt your feelings why don't you ever tell me to stop? You can't always be this shy girl who doesn't speak her mind" She stayed quiet, proving his point. "I've always wanted you, always, I wanted you before I even knew it. It just took Jacob for me to realize…" He could see that he was getting nowhere with her, whatever she was thinking was clouding her brain and making her think like a fucking teenaged girl.

"I don't believe you," she answered through tears. Her eye make up was all botched and any mood she was in to write was completely gone. All she wanted to happen was for him to leave and leave her alone for a while. Her feelings were hurt and so was her ego, her insecurities were through the roof and she couldn't really understand why.

Edward was drained. He had been working long hour weeks at the late shift, and this fight was the last thing he wanted to deal with. "You know what Bella? I've been planning on asking you to marry me for months but you don't even trust me," he started ranting, "you think I'm this horrible person who'll drop you at any minute whose just using you for right now, but that's not true." He stopped to think a bit before he continued in a harsh voice, "How can I marry someone who doesn't even trust me?"

And that was the last straw. With that last sentence went Bella's hopes, dreams, and pride. Slowly but carefully she grabbed her laptop, maneuvered around him and left the apartment. The door closed with nothing but a little click. She ran to her car and shoved the key in the ignition to go home, to Charlie, where she knew she could be herself without worrying about fights like this.

Edward stood alone in their apartment trying to comprehend what the hell had just happened and how the hell it had ended the way it did. He replayed the fight over and over in his head and couldn't, for the life of him, figure out how he ended up alone in their apartment and why Bella had fled. He tried calling her but got no response, he tried texting her but nothing came. He was getting worried. She was upset when she was driving and everyone knows that you're not supposed to drive when you're upset and – at that exact moment he received a text back. All it said was, _I'm fine_. And that exact moment Edward realized that the most important person in his life had walked out on him.

One week went by and it was the day before Christmas and Edward was not about to spend it alone. He had spent all week trying to contact Bella with no answers from her. At first he as hurt and now he was pissed. He loved her and he wanted her but she was the most stubborn person he had ever met and he couldn't even begin to think of when she'd start talking to him again, if ever. So he did the only thing a man could do in his position.

He charged her door, or Chief Swan's door to be exact. He was pounding and pounding like a madman – a caveman even shouting different things that Chief Sawn couldn't make out behind the old wood. They sounded mostly like, "Bella, open NOW," "Bella, love, forever, fuck!" and so on. At first Chief Swan was amused but now he was just annoyed. With one quick tug the door fell open and Edward fell on the floor. Brushing himself off quickly, Edward raised to Chief Swan's level and looked him dead in the eye without pissing his pants – the first time ever, and very clearly said,

"Sir, I need to speak with Bella."

Charlie was more than amused at this point and silently nodded his head while gesturing for him to stay put. Even though he loved Edward like a son, he'd never admit it – he was after all Bella's father and he loved her more. He had to be a hard ass to show that this shit, making his daughter cry, was not okay. Charlie knocked on his daughter's door and let her know that Edward was waiting but she seemed unresponsive. And in a moment of clarity, or insanity as Charlie thought about it, he sat his daughter down and let her know the most important piece of advice he wished someone had given him. "Don't let the one you love get away, Bella." With those few words Charlie got up and swiftly left the room, most likely to think about the one he had lost too soon. And so it seemed that one sentence had made all the difference to Bella. With a new found strength she didn't know she had, she dragged herself out of her bedroom, down her stairs and into her living room where she saw Edward – her Edward, pacing back and forth and ripping his hair out with his hands.

"Let's talk outside," she said calmly, startling him a bit. Edward walked toward her, and grabbed her hand, as he did the first time he met her and led her all the way out to the porch, in the fucking freezing ass cold, to talk to his crazy ass girlfriend that he loved to death. Bella knew that she was in the wrong; she knew the fight had been ridiculous and her fault and she wanted to apologize, but she was so upset that she couldn't form words for a minute. So they stood their silently, quietly assessing each other before she could finally pick up the courage to finally say, "Edward, I am so sorry. I don't even know what came over me…"

Edward jumped in, rubbing her hands in his to keep her warm, "It's my fault too. We just have bad communication skills." They grew silent again and Edward grew nervous. His jacket pocket began to weigh one thousand pounds and he felt like he'd fall through the snow-covered earth to the bottom of the epicenter. "Bella," he started, moving his hands from hers and putting them in his pocket, "I came here to beg for forgiveness and make you mine again and if you refused I was going to throw you over my shoulder and drag you back to our apartment regardless of the fact if you wanted to or not, but now that I'm here I'm losing all my words and I.. Well I feel like I did when I was five when I first met you and I couldn't remember to breathe and my face burned like a tomato," As he said his last sentence he saw her cheeks flush that tomato red he was talking about and he began to smile, "And now that I'm standing in front of you all I can think is, please Bella, let me come home," he finished this off by pulling a tiny black box out of his pocket and holding it to her eyes.

Bella gasped in shock and awe and understanding. His nervousness wasn't about her coming back to him or not, because he always knew that she would but it was his question and his wanting and his, "Wait," she interrupted her own train of thought, "I left you at our home, you _do_ live at home, you don't need to go back." She was stalling because she was nervous. She was finally getting what she wanted and she couldn't think or breathe because all she could think of what that the gorgeous man in the black beanie with the light stubble on his cheek was hers and had always been hers since he was five and she was starting to panic like she did in situations like this.

Edward's eyes started to shine with excitement as he lifted the box open and kept standing on his legs – he would not get down on one knee, he would see her face up close and at the perfect angle of him looking into her eyes when she said yes, "Baby," he said, "home is wherever I'm with you," and just like that Bella broke down in tears and nodded her head a thousand times before jumping on him and kissing him until his chapped lips became sore.

As the light snow fell around their faces and the sun began to set Bella whispered, "Merry Chistmas," as Edward carried her to the car to bring her back to where she belonged – in his bed showing him all the ways she loved him.

* * *

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays all!


End file.
